As I sit here listening to the stillness of this room - I can only think of what my life will mean this year (2014) Jennifer will be married this month. Elizabeth will be graduating law school. Christina will be promoted and Katherine will be excelling at anything she touches. I am blessed. My mother, who is in her 80's (she does not want to tell anyone how old she is) is doing great and my three grandchildren are blessings beyond anything I thought possible.
But, every time I walk up those steps of Florida State Prison (now I take the ramp, because I do not want to fall down again) I have this ache in my heart. All those lives so broken -- but, why me? Why not? How do I reconcile the pain - how do I make the process better? I work 16 hour days -- go to the most unsavory places - to find that one thing that makes that person -- human. Humanity - who has it -- who doesn't. Who deserves Mercy? I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all the pain go away - for everyone. I can only do it - one case at a time - give it my best - and keep moving forward. 2014 will be one year closer.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Monday, May 13, 2013
Human - the Documentary
I was interviewed by three very lovely and intelligent "Film Makers" who are here in the United States interviewing for a Documentary titled "Human". This is a new film by Yann Arthus-Bertrand and will be out in 2015.
Some of the questions I was asked were very thought provoking and profound. This was the most positive interview I have ever done and puts to shame all the American Media I have ever had contact with.
It was a difficult interview because it was so soul searching - the reasons behind my decisions - consequences -- the future.
What did you learn from your experiences?
Did you learn something from them?
What is love according to you?
What is happiness?
Would you have a message to the world?
What message do you want to leave your children?
This was a inspirational experience. And, I was told that this Documentary will be submitted to the Congressional Library for future generations to see and to study "Humans" from another generation. How cool is that? I am so proud to be part of this -- and that my "Humanity" might be remembered.
Tomorrow is another day to make a difference - kindness, compassion, understanding -- its free -- try it! You might like it!
Some of the questions I was asked were very thought provoking and profound. This was the most positive interview I have ever done and puts to shame all the American Media I have ever had contact with.
It was a difficult interview because it was so soul searching - the reasons behind my decisions - consequences -- the future.
What did you learn from your experiences?
Did you learn something from them?
What is love according to you?
What is happiness?
Would you have a message to the world?
What message do you want to leave your children?
This was a inspirational experience. And, I was told that this Documentary will be submitted to the Congressional Library for future generations to see and to study "Humans" from another generation. How cool is that? I am so proud to be part of this -- and that my "Humanity" might be remembered.
Tomorrow is another day to make a difference - kindness, compassion, understanding -- its free -- try it! You might like it!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
"Goodbye, Sis -- I love you" Last Words from Robert Waterhouse
I will remember Valentine's Day for the rest of my life. I spent two hours with Robert Waterhouse on Valentine's - it would be our last conversation. I wanted him to know - the last 45 days of his life - that I would be there. It was an incredible journey with a man that spent the last 32 years on Florida's Death Row. Robert maintained his innocence until the end - he gave an eloquent last statement "you are about to witness the execution of an innocent and wrongly convicted man".
Robert and I developed a close friendship in those last 45 days -- to the point that the tears flowed so openly it shocked everyone including Robert. I told him in one conversation that we were "in the foxhole" and he responded, "no, a hell hole" - we laughed. He had such a way with words. Those last two hours went like in a blink of an eye - and when it was time to go - he put his hand on the glass - touching mine on the other side - and said, "Sis, I love you -- I will see you in forever -- I hope it works out for you and Oscar" it was the most genuine of last words -- we sobbed openly -- the last conversation - like my first "death watch" will NEVER be forgotten.
You are finally free, Robert Waterhouse -- into forever - your Sis - Rosalie
Robert and I developed a close friendship in those last 45 days -- to the point that the tears flowed so openly it shocked everyone including Robert. I told him in one conversation that we were "in the foxhole" and he responded, "no, a hell hole" - we laughed. He had such a way with words. Those last two hours went like in a blink of an eye - and when it was time to go - he put his hand on the glass - touching mine on the other side - and said, "Sis, I love you -- I will see you in forever -- I hope it works out for you and Oscar" it was the most genuine of last words -- we sobbed openly -- the last conversation - like my first "death watch" will NEVER be forgotten.
You are finally free, Robert Waterhouse -- into forever - your Sis - Rosalie
Sunday, January 22, 2012
My First "Death Watch" - Robert Waterhouse
You always remember your "first". Your first kiss, your first true love -- your first baby - the memories of it all. On January 4th, 2012 - Governor Scott signed the death warrant of Robert Waterhouse - the first death warrant I have been part of. My first reaction was deep sadness, then I became anxious -- then I became angry. Why in the world would the Governor sign this man's death warrant - he has spent 32 years on death row -- hardly the same man that was arrested 32 years ago.
I met Robert Waterhouse nearly 16 years ago -- his wife Fran was the first person I met when I went to death row for the first time - as the wife of Oscar Bolin. Fran was cheerful and thoughtful. She let me know what the "rules" were and how to survive in the world of the death row wives club. She has been my friend this entire experience. I immediately wanted to speak to Fran - tell her that I would be there and that I would make sure that this last process was safe for her -- and, I would call Robert's lawyer - Robert Norgard. I had worked on Robert's post conviction process for the last 7 years -- nothing much could be done because he had exhausted most of his appeals. I crawled on the floor of the basement of the Clerk's Office in Pinellas County - found that one piece of paper that explained the destruction of all the evidence in Robert's case -- I located his friend "Grisley" - willing to help anyway he could -- spoke to almost everyone that had been named in the trial-- and then the Governor signs his warrant to die. I have been working non-stop since. I have been tracking new witnesses, seeing Robert regularly and taking care of what needs to be done for the Attorneys - and making sure Fran is safe.
This part of this process is almost surreal. I just can't believe that in a civilized society that we still kill our own citizens. It just is really difficult for me to wrap my brain around this.
These past two weeks have been difficult for me. I have never endured such mixed emotions. Florida State Prison staff have been exceptional -- professional but with a hint of the human component - that actually care about what I am experiencing. The difficult role I have as a professional coupled with me being the wife of a death row inmate. It is not a role anyone else holds in the State of Florida --- so, I teeter on that fence of unknown reactions from those who are in charge -- but, so far -- it has gone without any complications - but, I remain worried, anxious, emotional.
The trial judge denied the Motion to Vacate the Death Sentence and Stay of Execution - In spite, of the evidentiary hearing and newly discovered evidence -- and the process remains on the fast track -- 24 days to execution. It makes me sick to my stomach.
If I could tell all the capital defense attorneys in this business anything; it would be that it is important to do your job well - better than the rest -- save your client's life at all costs -- document the record at all costs -- and know that at the end of the day you did everything you could - not like most of the bar -- doing it just enough -- because this is the ultimate punishment - Execution - and it does come - sooner or later -- or life on death row until you go by unnatural causes - the food, lack of exercise, no adequate health care, abandonment by family and friends, constant abuse by guards, constant abuse by others - the list goes on and on --
So, if anyone is reading this -- know that I do care about Robert Waterhouse, his wife, Fran, the process -- and his life meant something - to me.
I met Robert Waterhouse nearly 16 years ago -- his wife Fran was the first person I met when I went to death row for the first time - as the wife of Oscar Bolin. Fran was cheerful and thoughtful. She let me know what the "rules" were and how to survive in the world of the death row wives club. She has been my friend this entire experience. I immediately wanted to speak to Fran - tell her that I would be there and that I would make sure that this last process was safe for her -- and, I would call Robert's lawyer - Robert Norgard. I had worked on Robert's post conviction process for the last 7 years -- nothing much could be done because he had exhausted most of his appeals. I crawled on the floor of the basement of the Clerk's Office in Pinellas County - found that one piece of paper that explained the destruction of all the evidence in Robert's case -- I located his friend "Grisley" - willing to help anyway he could -- spoke to almost everyone that had been named in the trial-- and then the Governor signs his warrant to die. I have been working non-stop since. I have been tracking new witnesses, seeing Robert regularly and taking care of what needs to be done for the Attorneys - and making sure Fran is safe.
This part of this process is almost surreal. I just can't believe that in a civilized society that we still kill our own citizens. It just is really difficult for me to wrap my brain around this.
These past two weeks have been difficult for me. I have never endured such mixed emotions. Florida State Prison staff have been exceptional -- professional but with a hint of the human component - that actually care about what I am experiencing. The difficult role I have as a professional coupled with me being the wife of a death row inmate. It is not a role anyone else holds in the State of Florida --- so, I teeter on that fence of unknown reactions from those who are in charge -- but, so far -- it has gone without any complications - but, I remain worried, anxious, emotional.
The trial judge denied the Motion to Vacate the Death Sentence and Stay of Execution - In spite, of the evidentiary hearing and newly discovered evidence -- and the process remains on the fast track -- 24 days to execution. It makes me sick to my stomach.
If I could tell all the capital defense attorneys in this business anything; it would be that it is important to do your job well - better than the rest -- save your client's life at all costs -- document the record at all costs -- and know that at the end of the day you did everything you could - not like most of the bar -- doing it just enough -- because this is the ultimate punishment - Execution - and it does come - sooner or later -- or life on death row until you go by unnatural causes - the food, lack of exercise, no adequate health care, abandonment by family and friends, constant abuse by guards, constant abuse by others - the list goes on and on --
So, if anyone is reading this -- know that I do care about Robert Waterhouse, his wife, Fran, the process -- and his life meant something - to me.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Heinous, Atrocious & Cruel
Everyone needs to get the book written by Terry Lenamon and Brooke Terpening - Heinous, Atrocious & Cruel -- I am featured in it -- "the Road to Perdition" - Kemar's story!
Lessons Learned
One of the gratifying things that a person can do is to give to others - even if they are on death row. I packed every single ziploc bag with care - as if it was for someone important. I do truly believe in one's energy is released into the universe -- all good things come back to you. I got a beautiful thank you note - handwritten by those death row inmates who appreciated the holiday gesture. It made me smile - lessons learned. All in the spirit of the the holidays!
Monday, December 5, 2011
One Day Closer
I have spent my day interviewing clients and locating witnesses. Each one of us - our lives intersected today for a reason. I feel energized. I client I have represented now for almost a decade - looked into my eyes and said, "thank you". Thank you for "listening". I felt blessed to have known him. His life meant something to me. I have had a "wow" day today. Those moments in time when you just want to put in a jar and pull out when you need the positive reinforcements. I wish I could capture the essence of some of these people and share the special things about them - the things no one wants to know or hear. We are all just people - spinning in space - finding our place -- some lost - for sure. But, thankfully, I was there at the precise moment "to listen". I am blessed.
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